I instinctively knew I would never reach escape velocity,but I held out the faint hope of achieving a brief hover. Shortlybefore splashdown I abandoned trying to produce lift and grabbed thepanties with both hands and attempted to use it as a parachute. Inretrospect, I imagine a pair of soggy underpants does not a parachutemake. Alas my career as an aeronautical engineer was short lived. Icrash landed on my ass in the puddle of toilet water, cascading wavesof sewage onto my mother's wallpapered ramparts. To put the finishingtouches on this scene I then had the good fortune of striking my headon the porcelain bowl with a ringing thud.As a gymnast my two point landing was at best a 1.5. The fireworksdisplay in my mind was quit spectacular and adequately compensated formy low score from the judges.They say timing is everything. This precise moment my mother camerunning in order to determine the source of the commotion. She openedthe door and was rewarded by a tidal wave of water. He could still see some of the young man there, the boy who seemed to have captured their leader's heart.Mostly, though, he saw the man the last year had made him."You all probably want news," Lady Shanna said. The brown skinned woman pulled out an empty chair, spinning it around so she could sit straddling the back. He felt those around him lean forward. "Well, there's two things. First, the King and I talked it over, and we're moving the fort." Moving the fort? It would take more than nails to do that! "Specifically, we're going to build a stronghold up the Orlan river, next to that six building village with the dock and crossroad. I'm sure you remember it from the Exodus. That's going to be our northern most outpost, and it'll be our job to keep the fucking Elves away."There were rumbles of approval, Lewy adding to them. Being safe and comfortable was all well and good, but he longed for patrols that mattered. Shanna nodded."Me too. The villagers have agreed to help. We'll need.
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